Utah: As Bad As I Wanna Be

Okay, so, many of you know that I rode through Idaho for 60 miles and decided to rent a car and skip ahead to Salt Lake City. Idaho is pretty much the only state with no cross-state secondary highways, forcing me to ride on the I-84 for great distances, which was dangerous and unpleasant. And I'm no longer in the business of doing things I don't like. The drive today confirmed that I made the right decision. Scary cross-wind, trucks with three trailers, gravel covered shoulders, dust storm warnings, etc. Idaho is bad news. Not to mention boring as cuss.

So I'm in the SLC (I don't know if they call it that). And the weird thing is, other than two or three blocks in the middle of the city, it seems to be pretty normal. I went out at sunset to take some photos of the Mormon temple and tabernacle and whatever else, but then I went to the Red Rock Brewery and had a snapper sandwich, a pint of hefeweizen, and another pint of dunkel weizen. Dunkel! In Salt Lake. I am very impressed and I've only been in town for four hours. Add to that the number of scantily clad, nubile young women (presumably due to the heat) and I'm a pretty happy camper (hosteler).

I also saw a brush fire on a hill above the capitol building. Lots of flabby-armed old people were out to try to squint their way to understanding what was going on. Fail.

Walking around the temple was interesting. In general, Mormons are clean shaven, well dressed, and look more or less respectable. I am none of these things at this point. My calves are huge from all the bike riding, like some kind of slave labourer; I'm wearing the same, wrinkled, unwashed clothes that I've been wearing for weeks; my beard is huge and red; and to top it all off, I have a visible tattoo. The path of people's eyes went: beard, clothes, tattoo, their own feet. Freaking out squares at the squarest of Squaresvilles. Nice. No offense Mormons. Your buildings are cool.

Which brings me to the last of my primary observations: the buildings. So many of the buildings in this town are less than 100 years old, yet are built to look much older. I'm not talking about Neo-Classicism. I'm talking about legitimate attempts to recreate Gothic cathedrals and Greek-ish edifices. It's like Disneyland. Once you get close enough, you can see the thermopane windows and repeating pattern in the phony granite. It's kind of interesting as an architectural theme.

Anywhizzle, it's hot and I'm sleepy from the driving. Driving for five hours made me more tired than riding for six. Weird. Night night.